


This house just ain't no home

by Akira14



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira14/pseuds/Akira14
Summary: A short fic about the friendship between Niccolò and Luca, and what might have happened after the Nicotino breakup.
Relationships: Niccolò Fares & Luca Colosio, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

It's not broken. It's just disassembled, and it still works fine once he puts the pieces back together. The same can't be said about his heart. It beats, but it doesn't stop hurting even when he tells it that there's nothing to worry about. Martino will come back, by the end of the day. 

He should have just told him the truth, when Martino snatched the phone out of his hands and found out he was talking to Luai, instead of going all defensive and say _"I told you that it had never happened to me before, what I feel for you, why can't you just believe me?_ " and _"You tried to punch Luai that night, because of me. Well, I'm not sorry for trying to protect an old friend for once."_

Martino wasn't in the mood to hear any of that, it just made him angrier. And then, when he threw the phone down on the floor in a fit of rage, Nico's brain just decided it was time for a nice dissociative episode.

By the time he was back to himself, Martino was gone. Frantically, he ran to the bathroom and sighed in relief when he saw that his toothbrush was still there.

No reason to panic, he reasoned with himself. Marti didn’t mean it, when he’d said they were over and that he was moving out. Otherwise he’d have at least taken some clothes, his books and his toothbrush with him… right?  
But he hadn’t, so… Martino just needed time and space to calm down and see that Luai was indeed just a friend. He might have not been in the past, but what good would it do to Marti to know about that?  
It would have only led him to the false conclusion that Niccolò was still wondering what could have been with Luai.  
  
He was going to be back soon, once he was done being dramatic.  
And when he’d open the front door, he’d be left speechless. Clearly, it has been too long since Nico has made him feel special. Well, he was about to set that right.  
Time to go to Uni, get some good advice on where he could buy the most delicious meal and then spend the rest of his day decorating the apartment. Perhaps it was time for the red thread to show up again?  
Yeah. Notes and drawings too.

It wasn't going to be easy to get everything ready so quickly, but for Martino he'd try his best.  
And succeed, of course. Failure was not an option. Not this time.

*************

"Nico, you're back! I've been so worried! You weren't answering! Gio and Elia told me to wait, that maybe you just went out for the day… I'm so, so glad they were right!! " He barely had time to understand what was going on, when he had found himself in a bone crushing hug from Luchino. What was he doing here? Did Martino send him to check that he wasn't doing too bad? How sweet…

"I came as soon as Marti told us about breaking up with you." 

Okay, so maybe Martino did mean what he had before he'd stormed out of their flat. Enough to share the news of their new relationship status with their - or were they just Marti's, now? - friends.

"Well, no, there has been a talk with Spera and Sana and she told us what went down with you and Luai. Man, that was heavy…. Anyway, Marti doesn't know I'm here but I wanted to make sure you were okay."

No. How… Why… Martino wasn't supposed to ever hear about _that.  
_ But he did, and there was nothing Niccolò could do to earn his trust again. It was over.

_'No, no, no. Marti is going to forgive you; he always does. He **has** to know that there's nothing going on between you and Luai at the moment, and that there won't ever be. That you didn't settle for him, that he was and will always be your **first** choice.' _ It was probably quite stupid of him to cling onto such feeble hopes, but he had no other choice.They wereall that stood between him and a panic attack.

"Thanks for stopping by, Luchì. I'm doing just fine, as you can see. I'm sorry you wasted your afternoon worrying about me." Nico said, his tone an octave too high to be believable, as he hugged Luca back.  


Since the idea of spending the evening alone wasn't alluring in the slightest, maybe he could try asking if Lu wanted to stay for dinner.

"However, I bought all this food assuming he'd be back by tonight…." 

"Nah, not a chance." Luca patted his back, with a long suffering sigh. "He has to get over his paranoia, his jealousy, his stubbornness and his pride first. It'll take a while and _that_ is sure gonna be all stale and rotten by then. Allow me to help you avoid wasting food. It's the least I can do."

"You're really too kind. Come on in and make yourself comfortable… You don't mind if we eat on the sofa, right? I kind of set up the table for me and Marti and..." And it didn't make sense that he didn't want to sit down and eat there, if it wasn't with his boyfriend but …

"You know me, man. I wouldn't mind eating on the floor."

Spending a night bonding over Peccio’s beer and questionable food choices, sharing insights on how Luchì could make Sil fall in love with him and tips to improve his portraits - which he still didn't want to show to anyone else but Nico - wasn't exactly what he had in mind but it could have been worse.

Much worse. 

He could have been left alone with his thoughts.

***********  
  
It all came crashing down in less than a week. It’d have happened much sooner, if Luchino hadn’t been keeping him company for a couple of hours every evening. If Giovanni and Elia hadn’t been taking turns at calling right after Niccolò walked him home.

Little did they know that, despite swearing that he was already on his way back \- just taking some detours, nothing to worry about guys - he’d spend the whole night out.   
The bed - the whole house, really - felt too big for **_one_** person. Soon, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had slept. He was so exhausted that putting salt instead of sugar in his coffee was enough to set him off and have him bawling like a baby.

How could anyone so stupid be allowed to exist?

Stupid Nico who can’t even tell salt and sugar apart!   
Stupid Nico who hasn’t noticed Martino has been sneaking in to move his stuff somewhere else!   
Stupid Nico who can’t even send him a text to say that he’s sorry, or try to call him, because he doesn’t want to know if he has been blocked again!  
Stupid Nico who is always running from the truth, hiding from his past, and screwing up the few good things he has in his life!

Stupid Nico who cut himself while he got rid of everything that had been set on that fucking table in their kitchen, left his flat in a T-shirt and shorts - no shoes or socks on his feet either - and ended up calling someone without even realising who it was.

“Honey, what’s happening? What’s all that noise coming from? Where are you?” 

“Mom?” 


	2. Chapter 2

What’s the point?  
Why should he let anyone in, when he wants to be alone?  
Why should he eat, when he’s not hungry?  
From the other side of the door, his friend insists that he can’t survive on tears and sighs, reminding Nico that he still owes him a rematch for the last they had an ‘all you can eat’ competition and he won by dipping all Luca’s food in miso sauce and then covering it in wasabi.  
He’s a fucking cheater: he thought everybody knew, by now.  
  
“Okay, you haven’t got the best track record when it comes to fidelity…Or saying the truth. Which is overrated, anyway. Like, both the guys and the girls are telling me I should be honest with Sil and tell her what I really feel for her, but what if I screw up everything by asking for more than she’s willing to give? Honesty is not always the best policy.” He didn’t say anything to that, he simply welcomed Luca into his room. Which didn’t look like a pigsty only because of his mother and Marisol, really.  
  
“By the way, nobody actually thinks you are - or were - having an affair with Luai behind Marti’s back. He says he does, but that’s the default reaction to the fear of losing you, it seems. Going into a ‘jealous bitchy, ass’ mode, I mean. It’s either that or you are a magnet for that kind of person. And I get where they’re coming from, man, I do, but nobody is gonna lose anyone here, okay? Not on my watch.” He sounds so adamant about it that Nico almost believes him.  
  
“Marti is a little more stubborn than last time, and a trip to Spera’s office hasn’t been enough to make him see reason, but we’re coming up with the perfect plan to lead him back to you. Have a little faith and some patience, okay? And in the meantime, take better care of yourself.”  
  
He can try.  
Whatever they have in mind, it most likely won’t work. He’ll get to see Martino again, though. Hopefully not as devastated as he is, so that Nico won’t feel too guilty about letting their friends persuade him to come as well.  
That’s something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed and make sure he won’t miss that party.  
Whatever it takes, he’ll be there. To quietly stare at what he has lost from a distance, not daring to approach Marti and ruin his night. Trying not to mind too much, when he’ll barely get a perfunctory greeting by his ex-boyfriend.  
He’s lost the right to hope for a miracle.  
  
**********************************************

  
It doesn’t feel real, yet.  
He dreads waking up in his old room, discovering that there has been no reconciliation. That, perhaps, they parted ways for good after Silvia’s birthday party. They had barely any time to talk, under that bed, after all. It had been mainly him saying ‘sorry’ over and over again until Martino had shut him up with a kiss. He didn’t want to hear any more lies, but wished for a better ending. So that maybe, one day, they could go back to being friends. One last round of pretty intense angry sex must have seemed the perfect way to say goodbye to Nico. He will never be ready to let Martino go, but the choice wasn’t his to make.  
Going back to their flat, spending yesterday dozing off together on the sofa - the lack of sleep finally taking its toll on them - and last night setting things right? With actual words, rather than hoping a mutual understanding would come from a look they shared, from the way they worshipped each other’s body?  
  
_“I’m sorry too, you know?”  
  
“Marti, you’ve got nothing to apologise for. It’s all my fault.”  
  
“Well, it’s **mainly** your fault...” _He had conceded, in a tone that made it clear he believed that said fault should be shared evenly. “... _but it’s not like I made it easy for you to tell me about him, completely losing my head when you first reunited. And I should have told you that Maddalena had warned me about a Muslim boy that you used to love…”  
  
“It wasn’t lo-”  
  
“Don’t try to deny it, Ni. I’ve seen the way you looked at him, in that video.”  
  
“Huh?” _Was there a video of him and Luai together going around? When was it recorded and uploaded? By whom? And why? _  
  
“The one where you played the piano, for Occupy 2017? He was the one recording, right?”  
  
“You saw that?” _Which meant Marti must have looked him up on the Internet, and since he didn’t find any matches on any social networks he tried Google. Nico is kind of glad that his request to delete it never reached the infamous ‘El Pautieri’. “ _What else do you have on me, huh? Do I need to look through your browsers’ history?”  
_  
“ _Stop deflecting.”_ Marti had huffed, rolling his eyes. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, it wasn’t like he could pretend he hadn’t been crushing **_hard_** on Niccolò ever since they first met in that radio booth, but still… It wasn’t **_him_** , they were talking about. “ _He was the one recording, wasn’t he?”_  
_  
__“Okay, okay._ _Yes, he was. But I swear, Marti, what I felt for him back then is nowhere close what I feel for you now. And I know that it doesn’t make much sense, with me choosing to keep his secret rather than telling you everything, but… I don’t know. I didn’t want you to open that door, discover my past, and think differently of me? And maybe I also felt like I had to pay the price for what I did to Luai? Fix things, somehow? I am sorry I made such a mess, I’m sorry I made you feel second best, I’m…”_ He had started rambling, so Martino had shushed him by putting a finger on his lips.  
_  
“Enough of that. Everything that has happened since Easter is forgiven, otherwise I wouldn’t have come back here, okay? Forgiven, but not forgotten. We’ll get there, eventually. We’re a work in progress. One that I really want to put my best efforts in, don’t you?”  
  
“I do, you know that.”  
  
“Then start by accepting **my** apology.”  
_  
Nothing more than a dream, wasn’t it?

Except it wasn’t: Marti is here, right beside him. With his wild hair and an impressive five o’clock shadow. Snoring softly, with his mouth slightly open. And Nico knows the way to make that more tangible, to capture the moment and save it for later. He knows what he needs: a pencil and his sketchbook.  
  


His first gift to Marti, of many more to come before the 22nd. And after, of course, because his boyfriend deserves to be celebrated every day. Or twice a week, at least.  
He’s gonna say that he doesn’t need to keep it, probably. He’s not that much of a narcissist that he has a secret stash of portraits of myself hidden somewhere.  
Nico will insist, so that he can see himself through his eyes. Feel the love and the devotion he poured in every stroke.  
  
He won’t let this house stop being **_their_ **home ever again.  
It’s a promise.


End file.
